Who put the bop in the bop shu bob shu bop?

Who put the bop in the bop shu bob shu bop?
And other important questions to be answered.

OK, for all of you who asked, and those that sent in questions, here’s a few answers. Use my advice at your own risk!

Dear April,
I know you say that you are not interested in men, but……”

Dear Hal, Tom, Big d—Jerry et al,
No no no, a thousand times no. Please go away.

Dear April,
I really love your makeup and try to emulate it. How do you get such a strong white under your eyes? I have tried everything! I could use your expert advice.
Carol in Cleveland

Hi Carol,
To begin with, I am no expert, Look online at some of what real and part time gals are doing with makeup, and you’ll see what I mean. I’m good, but no expert. That said find Kryolan Aqua Color Wet makeup. Apply it like eyeliner. You can find it on EBay.

Miss April,
I am lucky enough to have a very understanding girl friend. I dress all the time, and she approves. How do I tell her I am really into tampons and pads?
Cindylou

Cindylou,
I have no idea at all how you tell her this. Let’s face it, this part of what some of us do is pretty darn strange. Good luck though, and if it turns out well let me know what you told her.

Dear April Larue
Or whatever you real name is. You know you’d be quite an attractive woman without all that horrible makeup. Go and get yourself a makeover will you? Look at this before and after picture of me, and you’ll see what a little makeup can do.
Gail

Dear Gail,
Why don’t you be nice enough to tell me who did you makeover so I CAN AVOID THEM LIKE THE PLAGUE!!! First of all, shave your arms, there are likely colonies of live bedbugs living in that fur, second, you look awful. I should share you picture but won’t.

And if you don’t like the way I look, go away!

Dear April,

You jewelry gets better and better where do you get it?
Mary Hall

Mary, There is so much “junk” jewelry out there these days that it is pretty easy to find. Just last week I got a few things at Macy’s, all on sale of course. I am also lucky enough to be in New York City from time to time and shop on 6th avenue. Then there is the Tgirls best friend—ebay1 Also try HSN

Hi April,

On you site you mentioned anal insertions from time to time. What is the biggest thing you ever had up there?
Paul P

Hey Paula,

No sense worrying about small talk huh? Let’s see the biggest was either a champagne bottle, inverted, or a dildo I used to have. I also have a dildo shaped like a fist while not the biggest, is quite an adventure to get in. I have also mentioned candles a few times. Start with one, then go to 2, 6 10 etc. I think my record was 22 but I can’t remember.

The time has come, the walrus said, to speak of many things…….random stream of consciousness on a Wednesday evening….

Hosiery
Is it making a comeback? Fall fashions feature short skirts and tights, maybe there is hope. The Bloomingdale’s near me expanded its offering!

Hosiery II
“Hue” hosiery is inexpensive at 2 for $12.00 but really good, try it. And for you larger than life gals it comes in plus size too

Tampons
How does a man ever explain buying these? If they actually are for a woman then you really are kind of a wussy guy for getting them, aren’t you? Try explaining them to the woman who says “Let me get that for you” in the self checkout line at the super market, when you have dropped one of your 2 boxes of 36 super Kotex that were on sale for “buy one get 50% off the second”!

Money
Find the book “The Big Short”, read it, try not to get as pissed off as I did. At the end of the day, our whole world wide recession is because of Wall Street greed and stupidity, and of course the British, Germans, Spaniards, and others who followed right along.

Shoes
I love DSW show warehouse, I really do. Sometimes I go just to see what they have, and their clearance section is wonderful.

Shoes II
I was out looking for new gold shoes last weekend….lot’s and lot’s of silver, now that I don’t need a this color; navy, now that I don’t need this color; and sort of, kind of, champagne.

Makeup
You know I make up names for friends and acquaintances so that in the unlikely case they ever read anything I am writing, they won’t figure out it’s me. In any case this one gal, now called “Carol” was one of those gals with acne scarred skin. She wore mountains of foundation, but it didn’t help. And her makeup was the most meticulously applied I have ever seen. It wasn’t well done by today’s standards, by Miss April’s standards it was great. There was no blending; the green eye shadow was here, the blue there. Her lip liner was so well defined I had to ask what brand it was. She would apply mascara, take a NEEDLE, separates her lashes, applies mascara, takes a NEEDLE…. So she goes and gets some procedure to removes the scars, suffers like hell through it, and her skin looks pretty OK. But now the makeup is the same. Cool huh? Based on seeing her a week after the procedure, she needs the makeup.

Sarah Palin
I HATE her politics, but I must admit I find her sexy, almost, dominant! Can’t you hear her silly voice saying “Puuuut thouse pannnnnties on sissy!” Come on, be honest, you think she is sexy as well! I wonder how the “Tea Party” conservatives would feel about this. And if you are a Tea Party conservative reading this blog you have serious conflicts in ideology.

Rude People,
So I am in line at Starbucks forever, finally only one woman in front of me, but her friends come in and it’s “what do you want Sally” etc. AAAHHH! And not just coffee, no they want double left handed soy milk caramel macchiato chai”. Yes I spoke up! No they do not like me at this point.

Katherine Hiegl
She is going to stop acting! She wants to raise her family. Who cares?!? She is funny looking, and needsto remain a blond.

Hello!!
To Miss Wanda, Ronnie Parsons, Beth, Beth II (You need to decide who is who, sorry), Cindy, Mary (who needs a more interesting name)

Big Hair
OK stop emailing and asking where to get it. I don’t wear wigs, and all of my hair is my own natural hair. Don’t believe me? Ask Sarah Palin! Search “Drag Wig” on EBay. I will review suppliers soon

Random Ramblings

Flickr
So I have a new style of wig for me in some pictures on Flickr. Amazing how many emails I got asking where the bouffant’s and updo’s are. Just a short term change, no worries

Facebook
I am on it, but I find it boring. Look me up and tell me how to have more fun!

Women at a Wedding
I was at a very fancy wedding over the week at a swanky Boston hotel, black tie optional. I went because my friend Jane needed a date and I like seeing all the dressed up women. Jane is very well connected (I am not) and has a big job in Boston. So I am admiring all the women, checking out the ones with makeup and stockings, ever hopeful!! Then two “babes” come and sit at our table. One was a Pamela Anderson blond, too heavy (like me these days) but big boobs, way too much big bleached blond hair, amazing makeup, with those super long feathery false eyelashes (I went out and bought them the next day!), a rhinestone for a beauty mark, the whole nine yards. Her outfit was priceless, a black and white too short dress, black stockings and white shoes with 6 inch heels—after Labor Day. Whenever she sat or even moved in certain ways you could see the top of her pantyhose (Donna Karan unless I am off my game). Not surprisingly her name was Tiffany, and she was delightful.

She was the colorist for the bride’s hair. Like my friend Jane, the bride got her hair cut on Newbury Street, Boston’s Madison Ave, but she got it colored for a lot less money in the suburbs. What a gas she was. She and her friend, who was not as interesting, had the time of their lives. They danced every dance together, drank so many martinis I made sure they weren’t driving, and relished the pretty average food. While she was not smart, when I escorted her to one of her many trips to the bar she said “You’re a nice man, I know I don’t fit in here and all these rich folks are making fun of me, but I don’t care, I am having a good time”. Whenever she and her friend would get up to dance, the 4 women at our table would scowl and denigrate her, especially her boobs and makeup. The irony is all 4 of them have had multiple plastic surgeries. (Jane has had 2 face lifts!) I thought Tiffany was in her 20’s but she was 36 and didn’t show it.

Anyway she was fun to look at and fun to hang out with. She even won Jane over, calling her “Janie”, something I wouldn’t dare do. At one point she looked at me and said “You know you’d make an attractive woman”. That left me speechless! And when at one point she put a substantial run in the black stockings, she went to the loo, and retuned with a new pair. “I always bring a spare pair” she told us all, but getting my Spanx on and off is such a pain!” 

Flickr Favorites

Hi Girls,

Right in the middle of a spectacular Labor Day weekend here in New England. The city is packed with new college students, parents, and tourists. It really is fun.

To the subject at hand. I have gotten a lot of Flickr mail about my "favorites" or to those who don't know what this is, the photos I really like on Flickr. The questions most often asked is :Are the part time girls or real girls?

If you look at my "favorites" you will clearly see that they are all about makeup. I love makeup, and there are so many great pictures for ideas or just to admire, that I have chosen to collect them. Whether they are part time girls or real girls, makes no nevermind to me, I just like makeup. If you want to know where I find them just start looking around Flickr.

What I find is that when I find a person whose look I like on Flickr, their favorites are inevitably interesting to me. Consider checking out the girls you admire as well.
Here's my Flickr address:

http://www.flickr.com/people/89822684@N00/

The State of Makeup I
One Girl’s Opinion

I guess the most interesting thing about makeup these days is how many more choices there are, and how little I personally see women wearing makeup. Ok maybe they are wearing it, but it looks so “natural” that one can’t tell. My goodness what is the point of that!

Here’s a few random comments, but I remind you that I do not really wear anything from CVS, Target, Walgreens or the like. It’s not because I am made of money or I am a makeup snob…..actually it is because I am a makeup snob, I take that back.

Duty Free
I do a fair amount of international travel, and this was where I first got really good makeup. To be honest, it is not all that great of a bargain, but it does provide anonymity. And there is stuff I have gotten in the duty free shops that I never saw anywhere else, especially from brands like Clarins or YSL.

Sephora
Wow what did I do without them? Though I went to department stores and got stuff, and not always for “my wife” the ability to just wander around this makeup “supermarket” is wonderful. The first time I went into their New York store on lower Broadway (I think it was one of their first) I was blown away. I have two favorites in the Boston area, and whenever I go in, I come out a little poorer.

I am not sure exactly whet their relationship with “Make Up Forever” is, but some of the store have lots of it. “Make Up Forever” has outrageous colors, amazing lashes, and seems to have been designed for drag queens. Don’t miss it if you visit the store, but, they do seem to simply re-package some stuff. Look a little harder and you might save a few bucks.

Mineral Makeup
Ok, at the end of the day, if you wear mineral makeup you are wearing dirt. Sorry but this had to be said. On the other hand, the colors of the eye shadows are amazing, and I am addicted to them! An extra added attraction is that they can be pretty inexpensive as well. Here’s a few people, all of whom you can find on line, to consider. And remember I am only considering eye shadow.

Taylor Made Minerals
Really great colors, really big selection, really good prices. They are somewhat slow shipping, but always reliable. A favorite!

Lime Crime
Anyone whose tag line is “So bright it should be illegal” is worth considering. They have a limited selection of pretty good colors. At $12.00 they are high, but you get a lot of product. But I never use it all, so maybe that’s not a benefit, and I liked it better when the pots were smaller.

Special note: Lime Crime has the most amazing lipstick in the market today. At $16.00 it is a steal! Do yourself a favor and get all the colors the first time you order. I saw these in Bloomingdales so they are going “main stream”.

Medusa
Again, a lot of colors good prices and relay fast shipping. But for reasons I can’t accurately describe, there seems to be something lacking. But buy it with confidence.

Beauty From the Earth
I just ordered for them for the first time and they lost my order! But when it got here I was impressed with colors available no where else.

Next time…makeup Tutorials on You Tube.

Various and sundry musings on a midsummer afternoon

I think the progressive Insurance lady would be a lot sexier without those silly sneakers!

I think Calvin Klein is discontinuing my favorite pantyhose "Invisible Control". I can't find them in stores now, but "Bare Necessities" has them so I stocked up. I did the same tihng in January when it seemed that CVS was discontinuing hospital sized tabbed sanitary napkins. I ended up getting more than 40 packages of them!

Gotta love that crazy flight attendant!

I broke my own personal record this week at "Sephora" by spending more than $300 on makeup. It had been a while, but still this was a lot. I did get 4 hard to find "Make Up Forever" loose powders. And this is with any eye shadow. then I went to MAC!

The mineral eye shadow one can buy these days is really good, inexpensive and comes in amazing colors.

My goodness the economy makes for strange bedfellows. Not only do I get great service at places like Sephora or MAC, but everyone is a lot more flexible. I go to consignment stores from time to time. I almost never get used stuff, but they often have new things too. A few months ago I got great service at an upscale one in Wellesley Massachusetts. She took all my info, and called me last week to tell me a woman had just dropped off 2 new long gowns. I went in, tried them on, and got them!

Nails Nails Nails!

Hi Girls,

Those that know me understand that I am obsessive about EVERYTHING girly. OK I admit it. And long sexy nails are one of many things things that just get me going. I was a a business meeting this morning, and the woman on the other side of the dispute I am working on was very professional, very conservatively dressed, and she had 3 inch nails with rhinestones on the tips. If you really want to know how to get me to side with you, have nails like this!

Anyway....many of you have asked me where I get my own nails. Most of the plains colors, and some of the designed nails, I did myself. It takes time and patience. I often did them while watching college football of all things. I could paints 4 or 5 sets.

But the newer more elaborate nails are coming from one lady who really takes care of me. I found her on EBay, and she is lovely. Search "hand painted nails", but go to EBay UK. You might want to look for "Nail Candy" as well. I am lucky to have small feminine hands, so a normal set of nails works fine for me. Consider this if you have larger "man hands" as Seinfeld once said. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want either. I have found UK vendors bend over backwards for us yanks. Ciao.

The Dangers of Shopping

Goodness how I love to shop! For fans of my site, you know this. In fact now that I am not doing the site, I get emails all the time about my shopping updates.

There are a number of places that I personally believe were constructed for us part time girls. Shoe warehouse stores is one good example, Sephora Cosmetics is another. But it is hard to beat Outlet Malls. Yes I know a lot of the stuff in these sores was made specifically for the outlet stores. I know the deals aren’t always as good as they appear. Nevertheless there is something about an outlet malls, that give me confidence in shopping.

So July I went to an outlet mall about 30 miles from my home. It has been a while, I’ve been good! On a hot summer afternoon before a holiday I hoped it wouldn’t be too crowded, but I was wrong. Not that it mattered. I started at “Off Fifth” and got a pair of Betsey Johnson pumps. I had seen them few weeks before, and finally just went in and got them. Then I went to the Nine West shoe store and bought the gold shoes you see in the picture here—only $19.99!

In this mall there are 2 discount cosmetic stores, and one has Mac, Estee Lauder and more. I got lip pencils, new lipstick, eye makeup remover (I need gallons of this!). Off I went to the other discount cosmetics store where I got some Lancôme mascara, even more lipstick, and loose powder specially priced at $5.00. Now across the “street” to the Bali outlet, where I got two new longline bras, and some of my favorite Skimp Skamp panties.

The great thing is that no one seems to care that a man is buying this stuff. They just ring it up and go to the next person. I stop for a cold soda, then hit the Bebe outlet for jewelry. Unfortunately there was nothing there, but you can’t win ‘em al. Now to the Dress Barn, I need a top to go with my gold Capri pants, and I got this one on sale. The woman that was helping me was funny, she didn’t even bat and eyelash upon seeing all my bags. Then I found a great dress that I will wear as soon as I get shoes and a bag to match it.

So you may be thinking that the danger is in how much I was buying, right? Nope. As I was paying at Dress Barn I saw 2 women I know professionally. There was no way out and no excuse for me being there. I paid, got my stuff, and found the woman whoe helped me. I asked if they had a back door! Indeed they did, I got out, and remain undiscovered.

Despite this little setback—I had fun fun fun!

Why do I like support stockings?

I get this question a lot! I thought I would answer it today, because I happened to find 18 pairs of RHT support stockings in my size, in boxes still, at a yard sale.

So why do I like support stockings? One reason is that they are pretty indestructible-- they almost never run. But it is more of course. I love the sheen they have, and the way the feel when I wear them. Just like my heavy duty girdle and longline, the are tight fitting, and give me a feeling of security.

When my corset shop was still open I usually wnet over early in the morning as my male self. One Saturday I got a call from my beloved Sadie that two girdles that were being altered were finished. I had never gone in dressed to this point. So I told her and she told me to come anyway. Fortunately I was dressed to go out, not with my heavy duty makeup.

I took a bus over because I hated driving while dressed.

I went in and Sadie didn't recognize me, not a huge surprise. What was most shocking was that 2 minutes into our conversation, she noticed the support hose. But then another customer came in to try stuff on, an attractive woman in her 40's. There was only Sadie, and only 2 dressing rooms. So she told me to go into one of the rooms so I could try on the girdles. I was down to foundation garments when the curtain flew open and in she came.

For the next 20 minutes she was in and out, taking care of both of us customers. I always remember that day when I struggle with a pair of vintage support stockings.

The Question of Pants, My Site and More

Pants
I get a lot on email asking me how I could possibly wear pants. I know a lot of us "girls" think pants aren't nearly as feminine as dresses, but I like pants. As with everything I am pretty fussy about them though. I will only wear pants with a back or side zipper, or sometimes with just and elastic waist band. I will never ever wear pants with a zipper in the front. Please look at the picture that accompanies this post, and then me these pants are feminine and sexy.
My Site
No I will not be going back to my site. At some point it will disappear. Why? Got tired of it, that's why. Also when Geocities closed I had some trouble with it migrating to Yahoo, and I can't figure it our the way I could in the past.

Junk Jewelry

OK if you are like me you are just appalled at how fast women's hosiery is going down the tubes. Wow! I happened to be in New York this week, and all of these gorgeous women have taken off the winter coats and gotten into summer mode, and tossed away their hosiery! Painfully white legs everywhere.

While waiting for the train at Penn Station I spotted lots of attractive women all looking rather leg pale. Oh well.


Again, if you are like me you LOVE big gaudy jewelry, and it is just everywhere! Go to any mall and you'll find this cheap over sized stuff you can wear and look great, and toss it when you get bored. Go to HSN or QVC and you'll find even more. (Some day I'll tell you about the time I called HSN and actually talked to the hostess on TV!)

So if you want big jewelery, now is the time to get it. Wait for it to go on sale, buy it, enjoy it.

April

Tuesday Night

Got home early, playing with makeup. It's important to try new things and I don't want to be messing around on day I am dressing, so I often try things on "off" days.

First Blog

As is often the case I am a little late getting to blogging. I can't say my blog will change the world in any significant way, but Its a place where I can comment on life as I see it.

As a transgendered person "life as I see it" involves comments on my everyday life. I have found that I am an above average observer of human beings, I notice stuff and I have a lot to say. Come back, please.